The insane liberals in Oregon have fed a mass-hysteria to the point that the people are calling 911 because they have run out of toilet paper. The Democrats have pushed the pandemic button so many times in the state that people have hoarded toilet paper to the point that some people are running out of the commodity. For some strange reason, they believe that to get more they have to call an ambulance or fire truck.

Law enforcement in Oregon is scratching their heads at the insane ignorance of some people that feel that running out of toilet paper is a life and death emergency. These people just do not have the common sense to check the roll before they sit down. Law enforcement needs these people to stop calling in and demanding that a roll be brought out to them. Liberals and Democrats think that the world owes them something. And in this case, they believe it to be toilet paper.

It is just not worth the stress of the emergency personal to have to answer phone calls of people that think of going to a bathroom to be an emergency. The crazy liberals of America have once again embarrassed themselves by flocking to the store to buy toilet paper. Of all the insane things to buy. No one is buying food. It is all about toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Liberals never think things through. They only react and want what will keep them safe in the short term.

The police in Newport, Oregon are demanding that people stop flooding the system with toilet paper calls. The police in Newport took to social media and stated that “It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.” The only thing that Republicans and conservatives can do when a liberal call in, shakes their head in their hands.

The coronavirus has brought the worst out in the liberal community. The Democratic agenda has led people to believe that they cannot survive without big government. In a panic, people rush to the stores and stock up. When they run out they immediately call a Democrat for more toilet paper. The crazy people think that 911 is their link to getting more supplies when they run out. The true emergency is the panic that the liberals have shown through their uniformed lifestyles.

The soft Democrats want their beautiful toilet paper. The police department stated that there are other alternatives that can be used. This stated that should a person not be able to find their “favorite soft, ultra-plush two-ply citrus-scented tissue. [T]here are always alternatives to toilet paper. Grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting on the holder right now.” It may be a little rough on the bottom, but at least the bottom is clean.

The police also stated that in the event of a real emergency “there are a variety of leaves you can safely use. Mother Earth News magazine will tell you how to make your own wipes using fifteen different leaves. When all else fails, you have magazine pages. Start saving those catalogs you get in the mail that you usually toss into the recycle bin. be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”

The comical response to the insane calls that they are getting is fitting for the mind of a panicking Democrat that has lost the ability to think for themselves. Everything will start to get better in a few weeks. The liberals of the world really do not like to have their little corner of the globe rocked with uncertainty. They act like they are in charge of their own lives. But in reality, they have about as much control over life and death as trying to control the burning rate of the sun.

60 thoughts on “Insane Democrats are Calling 911 Over Toilet Paper

    1. Amazing that people would caqll 911 and identify themselves by political preference? Could it be that this story is just that, a story?

    2. Went to the market on Tuesday after hearing about the city wide shut down ordered by the city of San Francisco on Monday evenings news. Yes San Francisco, the newly monikered ‘doo-doo’ capital of the USA that hopefully after 35+ years here I’ll be leaving next year, by the grace of God. Anyway I went to the store the day after the city ordered shut down of all non essential businesses figuring I’d better do my marketing before there’s nothing left if i wait for Thursday. Long story short there was no bottled water, all gone, bread, just a few loaves left on the shelf, dairy case just a few cartons of milk and of course no paper products, all gone and just a one gallon jug of bleach on the shelf. All this despite obvious signs warning of limits on purchases. Evidently the locusts swarmed the store earlier in the day as i got there in the mid afternoon. i asked the manager why the cashiers didn’t enforce the limits and he gave me some BULLS**T answer. This experience has convinced me the majority of the people in the ‘city that knows how’ haven’t a clue of how to handle something like this and are for the most part, pigs and selfish inconsiderate slobs who’s mantra is: ‘me, myself and I and F**K everyone else’ and won’t use all the toilet paper they hoarded in a lifetime and the perishable foods they hoarded; hope it all goes bad, serves these selfish bastards right.

      1. San Francisco is known as the SHIT CAPITAL But why the toilet paper issue? The animals shitting in the street don’t wipe their asses, they just wait for the “RESIDUE” to dry and flake off. The liberal assholes, pun intended, are the ones perpetuating this false need for panic. I think the shortage of toilet paper calls for Marshall Law. Keep the shitheads and their shit inside. By the way, forget toilet paper, eat corn on the cob. It will fill you up, the cob can be used to wipe then rinsed off and used again. Another plus is the since the kernels do not digest, there is little to wipe.

  1. If they go to PetSmart or pet supply websites, they can get puppy peepee pads and cut them up and take the plastic backing off. How about cutting up grocery bags. One newspaper added extra blank pages for “readers”.

  2. The next person who calls 911 without a life or death emergency, arrest and charge with making a fraudulent 911 call. Examples need to be made.

    1. My late father who was born in rural Colorado where they didn’t have indoor plumbing and just an outhouse in the back yard told me they used to use Montgomery Ward and Sears catalogs as toilet paper. Since the new catalogs today aren’t printed on newspaper type paper and definitely would cause plumbing problems like a blockage, you might want to use throwaway -disposable paper napkins, the type you take to a picnic, in a pinch

  3. Back in the day, people used the suggested substitutes and when they finished using them, they threw them through the hole in their OUTDOOR TOILETS! It probably wouldn’t take more then one or two flushes to jam up the plumbing leading from their commodes so people might want to consider that before flushing any of the above.

    1. That was my first thought …Plumbers will be the next panic …all those stopped toilets !!! Someone needs to remind them ..throw in trash, wrap securely and dispose…DO NOT FLUSH !!! (Anyone else remember the good old Sears & Roebuck Catalog ???
      LOL !!!!!

  4. And to think, after all this country has been through since it was formed. that we are now on the verge of utter collapse because people are running out of toilet paper! Oh, Heaven, save us!

    I can see it coming now. The Democrat Party marshaling its massive resources to gather all the ginned up incriminating evidence it can. Committee meetings long into the night. Hordes of Liberal lawyers poring through law books. An army of whistle blowers oozing out of the woodwork. Liberal “journalists” screaming a new fake headline every hour. The cause?

    Impeach Trump for causing the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020! They’ll call it TeePeegate!


  5. It seems the the “WOKE” folks have fallen asleep in life and dont know what to do in small emergencies such as current events. Just wait till the real emergencies hits as they will be leaping off tall buildings as life comes to an end with no TP for those problems. Remember folks that are prepared for these problems that the liberals will most likely be out of supplies post haste in a major emergency so make sure you have the ammo to keep the idiots at bay.

    1. See my comment above re. Sears and Montgomery ward catalogs. living in rural Colorado and having an out house out back the house, if the above catalogs were’t available, corn cobs were used as well

  6. That is what they should do. Arrest them and charge them for making fraudulent 911 calls. Wake up people you are not going to die because you don’t have toilet paper. Use a wash cloth. Wash it and use it again. DUH!

  7. Try assisted suicide. No toilet paper? It’s the end of the world! The sky is falling! Besides, the world is overpopulated. The planet can only be saved by getting rid of the human race. Lead by example!

  8. I haven’t laughed so hard in so long and this is just what I needed! God bless this article on toilet paper and the people who had terrific comments on it. I am elderly and can sure remember all of the suggestions for substitute TP. But most important the article is sooo true.

  9. I can’t believe these people they really believe they are superior they better get ready for another 4 years of Trump. And many more years of this very reliable party. These idiots might as well jump on the next plane. That is going to mars they will never make it on this planet

  10. How utterly selfish!!! Just go back to wartime and cut up old newspapers, into squares, dig a hole in one corner and use that. Why waste normal toilet paper on them.

    1. good thing the newspaper recyling pile is currently a very “healthy stack” …don’t think I’ll put it out curbside until TP is back in stock. Thankfully we still had a Sam’s Club pkg of TP when this whole thing started so it won’t necessary to use the substitute product right away.

  11. It is actually like you went through my thoughts! You appear to know a whole lot concerning this issue, like you’ve authored a book or something concerning it previously. Without a doubt a remarkable read. I will definitely be back for more.

  12. OOP NO TOILET PAPER LOL Use your fingers but watch the nails. There are other resources available tissues just double them. Fig leaves and lettuce leafs. The old reliable handkerchief. Here are the facts you are not going to use any more toilet paper today than you did last week or last month unless you have company or diarrhea. SO this proofs the liberal are full of shit.

  13. Great article about how libs can’t survive without “big government”. It is great that they pushed for a $37 billion farm welfare bill and now want a trillion dollar welfare plan for individuals and Boeing and airlines and hotels….Good thing that the Republicans are against this excessive spending. Especially after we already have a record trillion dollar deficit for 2019. Finally we have a President that will reduce the deficit and the entire debt.

    1. And I forgot to congratulate the Democratic Senators that, immediately after an intel committee meeting, sold off their stocks in hotels and airlines. All the while assuring us that the US was really well prepared for the virus. Can you believe the balls on these guys? Insider trading at the highest level while lying to all of us. Vote these scum bags out!

      1. And good ole ‘fart’ faced dianne feinstein was first on this list as if i had any doubt. Living in San Francisco i have to deal with all the filth, crime, homeless encampments, streets reeking with the stench of rotting garbage, urine and feces, crumbling and failing infrastructure and unaffordable costs of living all while this disgusting slug lives a luxury lifestyle far away from all the BS her and ‘nasty nancy pigliosi foisted on the lesser echelons. This disgusting liberal lying, thieving communist slug has done ZILCH for the one time jewel of California that under her leadership, some leadership huh, is now the ‘doo doo capital of the USA,. And the real outrage: if I or anybody else did what these thieves did, we’d be serving 25 years in a federal prison. And i thought the laws in America applied to everyone and nobody’s above the law. some America. Time for America to get smart and vote out these no good thieves who take home big paychecks, do nothing for us the American people but flip us the finger behind our backs, give us lip service all while promoting their own personal agendas on our time. God please enlighten the American people about the liberals and their agenda before it’s to late.

  14. This article is so full of shit there isn’t enough toilet paper in the world to clean it up! Show me how you concluded toilet paper hoarding is political! It’s crazy but not political. People are scared and unsure of their future. Who knows why so many are doing it? It’s not like it won’t be made ever again. Worth a chuckle for sure but democrats and liberals certainly don’t own the phenomenon!

  15. Oh & about those 911 calls. Again, political? Hardly. Unbelievable? Certainly! In this time of world wide crisis does anyone really believe people expect emergency responders to bring them toilet paper?!?!? Bet the author stayed up late to think of that one! Maybe a few crazies for sure but I doubt to the degree claimed. Then there are all the people who commented, believing it & offering alternatives! WOW! I think a heavy dose of crazy is in the air! Guess people have been inside too long!

    1. Even more stupid is believing that someone would call 911 and say “ hey, I am a Democrat and I need toilet paper “. How sure are they that it wasn’t the few entitled Republicans in Oregon?

  16. Muslims dont use toilet paper. Use there fingers. I dont know how well this works but plastic bags, news paper probably not that great. Glad the stores finally put limits on these items that other may need! Now I see store will not allow returns on these items. So maybe they can eat the toilet paper.

  17. With the way you write, I believe that in no time at all you’re heading to become a famed author. The high quality of your posts continue increasing with every single brand new post. Much more grease to your elbow.

  18. Human beings have been on this planet for how many thousands, if not millions of years, and for how long have we had toilet paper?! Gimme a break!
    Misuse of 911 Emergency lines should be Prosecuted!

    This is a Prime Example of “YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID!”

  19. Tell them to call the New York times, order their special $1 as back in the days before the real rolls were made, News Paper was used, so why not give NYT and others the real s— end of the deal and wipe on the titles. No need to keep it, it is Fake Toilet Paper, but it works, or go back to when the old corn cobs were used, Pocahontas probably has a stash of those, just call her and ask and last but least just use the French right hand wipe, guess after that you really should was your right hand for sure and remember not to shake the hand of your democratic friends that have no common sense and think the police are going to slide right over and wipe your you know what. But do have one more thought, lock em up as for sure the jails will have something there to help them or maybe send them the telephone conference bill. $100 or so.
    Some just have no Common sense. you tell by the caller and at least they tell your that they are Dem’s (DDROTG)

  20. Since this happened in a dummycrat controlled state and it was dummycrats that went into a panic and caused the shortages and then called 911, I will suggest some plant leaves they can use in place of poopy paper. Poison Ivy, poison oak, stinging nettles.

  21. if cali didnt have all the shit in the streets of san franciso they would not be doing this alert. news flash demos are the blame for everything. send the packing this eiection.

  22. go to your search engine and put in and enter your city and county . you can listen to the idiots yourself..

  23. Have they zero imagination? I thought the liberals in oregon were artistic….they need to start using their socks. And all those hoarders with a year supply of TP, Start selling some of it. I am sure those liberals without socks will pay $20 or $30 a roll….

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